Here’s some food for thought: there is no memory bank in your head. Your most favorite memories don’t all live happily ever after.
In fact, every time you recall a memory, you change it by updating some small or large detail. You never notice the difference.
That’s because memories are more about the future than they are the past. They’re in your brain so you can use what happened in the past to help you deal with what’s happening in the present. Your brain is continually updating old memories as you make new ones—to ensure that you’ll have all the information you need when you need it.
As if that wasn’t weird enough, you also have emotional memories, and they operate under separate rules. They’re tricky; you can’t “re-call” them the way you can the facts of your life.
We’ll talk more about these in the coming weeks. Here’s a clue: If you want to know what your emotional memories might be, take a look at your emotional behaviors. You know, all those behaviors you might wish you could change? Yeah; those.
In my book, “Why Do I Feel This Way?” What Your Feelings Are Trying To Tell You, I invented an unscientific experiment to get myself some clarity about my own emotional memories. You could—if you had a mind to—recreate this experiment for yourself.